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清明之后 南昌就又开始筹备入夏了

  • 2026-04-24 08:51:54
清明之后 南昌就又开始筹备入夏了
南昌的春天其实是很短的，就算气象学上总是一次次宣告某一年的春天又提前到来，但阴雨密布、太阳迟迟不来等种种，总让人觉得还泡在一块刚刚化冻的冰里。
三月底四月初的雨，一个劲地下着，让我的清明出行也泡在雨里。看了三天全国降水预报，图里蓝蓝的，我也懒懒的。刚刚过去的这几个月，我的活人味也和天气一样，在一场潮湿的雨里。
最近互联网上又造出一些新词，奥德赛时期。其实看到定义，和潮湿的雨季没差，就是那些人在不断试错又再激活一点少年气再打两局的时候。就像人在一场雨里，孩子气上头的时候，觉得冲刺加速其实也还没关系。我好像正在，且有很长一段时间都在经历这样的时刻。
我的生活状态被“看清生活的真相依然热爱生活”这样的句子支撑了好一阵子。过去的几个月，也总还是因为不被充分认可内耗，又开始犯轴，拼命想写 点什么，想证明点什么。我的少年气一直都在，一直都在寻找一个目标，再死磕一会。
有那么一阵子 ，我把自己的短期目标和人设规划设定为汪曾祺笔下的栀子花，“我就是要这样香”。我就是要在一片灰暗里明媚地斗争下去。所幸还是会在和一些朋友的对话中，听到大家对我所谓生命力旺盛的认可。尽管只有我自己清楚，如果这一口气吊不上来，我会陷入怎样的一片昏暗。
我还是在给自己寻找生活的支点，兴趣爱好或者阅读写作记录。但是当写点什么成了日常，我这几个月写日记的时候变得少之又少，日记本里倒只剩下报选题前的一次次推翻。偶尔在深夜里想起这半年自己的变化，倒是把情绪的东西尽力代谢了出去，觉得自己还是一直都有点长进。
有长进对我来说，是一种程序正义。我这样不管不顾的性子，是很难偶遇一次结果的。所以更加要珍视过程。
这是一个适合踏青的清明。满目苍绿里，总要纪念些什么，例如我这只小鱼，一路褪下的鱼鳞。
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  138. /yingpanguazai/ssd/ssd1/www/a.460.net.cn/vendor/topthink/think-template/src/template/contract/DriverInterface.php ( 0.86 KB )
  139. /yingpanguazai/ssd/ssd1/www/a.460.net.cn/runtime/temp/80ec142d437acc197a4b556a08c383fc.php ( 11.98 KB )
  140. /yingpanguazai/ssd/ssd1/www/a.460.net.cn/vendor/topthink/think-trace/src/Html.php ( 4.42 KB )
  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.000717s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=aa460;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.000576s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.000281s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.000268s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000459s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000197s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.000487s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 495467 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000319s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1777034772 WHERE `id` = 495467 [ RunTime:0.012256s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 64 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000262s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 495467 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000423s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 495467 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000353s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 495467 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.002778s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 495467 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.000675s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 495467 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.004872s ]
0.106536s